Honestly, Bitch

Is it bitchy to be truthful and honest? Or is it bitchy to be un-truthful? What is the line between honest and too honest? Now, I would want my friends to be honest, tell me everything they see that I don't in someone. Then again the truth can hurt, but doesn't everything else in the world? Should we just grow thicker skin and evolve or keep our thoughts to ourselves?

If you read my blogs, you probably know i'm an honest person. I fustrated young teenager who finds too many flaws in the world and my surroundings, right? Well, how can I not when there are so many shit people living around me? Everywhere I turn there is a problem, nobody can be honest or else the problem will get worse. But wait, didnt the problem start with that person not being honest in the first place? Its an endless cycle of lies and excuses.

I've been told so many times I'm a bitch for being too honest. And yes, I know I have a big mouth but that's me...its how ive learnt to be. I never got anywhere lying or playing games, then again has anybody? If you have, you must be a very guilty person because you have un-truthfully moved thoughts and told lies. And sure i've told lies to make people happy, I still do, but when it comes down to telling somebody when they're doing something wrong or doing something right...being honest is most likely the only way to really be. You dont want to be the one who is blamed for anothers faults.

I am proud to say I'm honest and truthful. Call me a bitch all you want...

but atleast im not the one with the heavy shoulders.

One Teen Wonders

I dont know if its weird talking about personal things on my sort of blog but im going to do it now. SORT OF. I want to talk about the wonders and heartache of teenage life. Me being 17 I think im in the prime place to judge what teen life feels like. So far it hasn't been the best ride ever or the most magnificant. I've been through alot, alot more then most of my friends have. Some don't even know what ive been through because I don't like to talk about how I feel, what think about my life and where I am right now. Sometimes its just too difficult to explain a big black hole. For the lucky ones, some my age have had the time of there lives with young love, friends and experiencing things others would only dream of. What about those who don't? The ones that get stuck half way and stay completely lost, for what seems like eternity?

When it comes to confidence there is two sides of a personality. The "confident" side and the real side. Anyone who has been in depression would know what this is like. Everyday you wake up, put on a brave face for your friends and wonder if maybe this day will be better then the last. And yeah, you have those days that seem great at the time but then the next is just the same as the day before that. You come to a sad realisation...is this MY life? Day after day will I be like this? Will I never experience something new and exciting? Or even thrilling? Life changing?

The problem with the world of teenagers is...highschool. The world is different and everything you do is judged by the people around you, so called friends comment on what you should and shouldn't do. Teachers can make or break you. Love is a posession not a feeling. This fake temporary world full of bimbos, jocks and freaks. Can it really be this horrible? A world so harsh you dont know who you are until you leave?...Yes.

Unfortunatly to survive a world like this you are labelled and have a certain type of personality you must follow. Even if you think you have a clean slate there is always someone who is jealous, angry or frustrated with you to start something, a rumour can ruin you. All your friends gone, enemies become those friends and you get involved with people you thought didnt exist. From the first step in those doors, your first lesson, you are being judged. Is it easier to ignor or get involved? Fight back the enemy and win the glory? Which eventually leaves you none the richer...or happier.

Its a never ending battle. Girls will be girls and boy will be boys. We can learn off each other, grow with each other but never leave our thoughts. Some friends stay friends, others just fade. Dreams become our future and stories our past. Its just getting through it that really hurts the most. Scars are deep...

...but memories are deeper.

Typical boys.

Men. The better sex? Physically stronger but mentally, unstable. What is it that makes us women want to hang around for the right one? And in that, what is THE right one? Is it- strong mental state, sane attitude and handsom features. Or romantic, devilish grin and a whole lotta humour? What is it that make them, THEM?

Well, of course we wouldn't be here if it wernt for men. They are the um, the sauce of life...yeh that works. So with this "sauce of life", how do we manage 51% females and 49% males? I mean what happens to the 2% of females? Do the men cheat to match up the numbers, to satisfy the 2% of women? Is this maybe why women choose a man they can't have? Not enough men?

If this is so it might explain the constant mind change men possess. One second they seem to want one thing, and then a minute after its like their whole world had been turned around. A mans mood can change just like a single 30yr old womans in the time of the month. Testosterone can bring a man to harming a complete stranger or even a loved one. Like Jack Nicholson in the Shining, men are just one bit ball of MENTAL.

So why do we love them so much? Is there really a typical male? A typical boy who breaks your heart and leaves you with 500 scrunched up tissues and a 1kg of chocolate. Women like men, arnt all the same...in some respects. We all have the same functions and problems, we just have a different outlook and attitude on things. One person could say "He was an asshole anyway!" whereas another would say "But I love him." It all comes down to one thing...experience.

A broken heart, a friendship lost, a fallen friend, a weakness, a mistake, a broken promise, a love lost, a relationship ruined. In the beginning were all the same...all it takes is a little experience to change who we are. Who men respect, honour and love is up to them and their memories. After all...

Some things never die.