Dreaming about sleeping.

Lately I've found it very hard to get a full nights sleep without waking wondering where the hell I am and answering the phone when no one calls. My restlessness is causing massive bags under my already droopy eyes and my smile is slowly beginning to fade. I find it harder to wake up in the mornings and find it harder to go to sleep. Am I thinking THAT hard that its impossible for me to sleep a full night? To wake up in the morning and yell "GOOD MORNING!" (Note: who ever does that, you deserve to be depressed) would be a life changing experience. I think too much about everything when I sleep. This "task" isnt enjoyable anymore, it used to be fun! Now its just tiring...since when was sleeping tiring!?

Since I started highschool ive always had a thing about sleeping. Its probably the most a teenager will ever do, and do successfully. I usually get home from school and go have a sleep, which I know is very unhealthy but it's probably the only way I stay up for dinner. But now it's sort of getting to a point where I have threethirtyitis (when my brain is blank) and I sleep till dinner time, then I dont sleep till 2am (when my brain is most active). Am I just creating one big hole of sleepy? I should be the boogey man, at least it would keep my mind off things bothering me.

So now I think..."oh my god, its 3am and I havnt slept. What am I going to do tomorrow? I mean today? Is it tomorrow? Wait...when IS yesterday? What did I do yesterday? Ohh that's right...blah blah blah." until it's 4am. THEN im fucked. The worst is when I'm just getting to sleep when mum is waking up at 6am. Then you can hear her stomping around, cleaning dishes and talking the cats. Goes a little something like this..."Oh Bonny! What did you do that for, hmm? What? What? You love me? Oh I love you too..."...Every morning. Don't even get me started on the dog.

One day, hopefully, i'll finally go to bed around a 'normal' time and wake up at a 'normal' time. Open my blinds to the outside world, rub my eyes and smile. Jump from my warm doona and into the shower...where I eventually fall asleep...Hang on...Damn it! Oh well, maybe tomorrow...

...or is it today? ARGHH.